To my ladies. To those who are married and to those who seek to be one day. The term “submit” has gotten a bad rap today. Society, your friends, your family, and co-workers have defined submission in such a terrible way that you run from it. Submission in most cases is portrayed as a dictatorship in which you have to do everything your husband says. Could it be that what the world tells you submission means is wrong? Could submitting actually place you in a position of power? Let’s dive into the Kingdom Constitution on this controversial subject.

Ephesians 5: 22-24 says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴ Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

The definition of submit is “to accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person.” Now that “person” in this context is your husband. Submission does not mean you are dumb and that your opinions do not matter. It does not mean that you and your husband agree on everything. It does not mean that you should be fearful of your husband. What it  does mean is that you allow him to fulfill his Kingdom ordained role as the leader and head of the house. He is the ultimate decision maker and is held accountable as such. This does not mean he’s perfect. But you should respect and honor him in spite of his shortcomings. Now, as your husband, he should constantly be trying to build his relationship with God to be a more effective leader and should value you as vital to his success. But God never states that he has to have it “all together” to be the head. He’s the head because God said so.

This is not an issue of equality as God made man and woman equal as humans. But their God-given roles in the household are not equal and their functions are not the same. This is about Kingdom order. Not about how we feel or what we think it should be. When God’s order is kept, he honors and blesses it. When it is not kept, the door is open for the enemy to attack the marriage.

Now granted, there are situations where kingdom submission is not possible. I’m speaking of those extreme cases where the husband is verbally and physically abusive. That is not acceptable. God seeks for you to be submissive to a Kingdom man and a man who exhibits these terrible qualities is not one. In cases like that, seek God for protection and deliverance from that situation. And this is not to negate single parent households where a man is not present. In cases such as this, the woman should follow what the Word says about teaching her children and earnestly seek God for some type of Kingdom father figure who can pour into her children as well. If there is no father figure, then she should fully submit herself to the Word and bring her children up in it.

Ladies, God honors you in your submission to your husband. God will even place a desire in your husband to be a better man and provider when he sees that you support him no matter what. Submissiveness places you in a position of power as it poises you receive the overflowing blessings from God’s storehouse. Encourage your husband to study the Word. Strongly persuade him to sit under Kingdom teaching so that he knows what it means to lead. Not only will you and him be blessed, but your children will be also.

KINGDOM DEFINITIONS