Ephesians 5:25:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Men….. Oh yes, I have not forgotten about us. I am going to talk to you about what it means to truly love your wife. I pray that you read this in its entirety and take it very seriously. And to the ladies, this type of love that I will outline here is what you should pray for and seek from your husband. My mind is racing thinking about all the things I want to say but I will try my best to keep this direct. In the Kingdom, love has a very different meaning than what it does in today’s society. So we’re going to take a deep look at the Kingdom Constitution and see what love for our spouses should look like.

Firstly, let’s put love in the correct context. We live in a world where love is typically defined as an emotion. It’s based on how one “feels”. And these feelings are governed by what the other person does for us. For example. She cooks and cleans and gives me sex so I love her. She gives me space and doesn’t nag me so I love her. She gave me children so I love her. Likewise if she does not do some of these things you might find it difficult to pronounce your love for her. Men, I am not saying that emotion should have no place in love because it does and should. But emotions in of themselves do not and cannot define what true love is. In the opening text, notice that God COMMANDS us to love our wives. He does not ask or plead with us.

So this in turn completely destroys the worldly definition of love. If we are commanded to love our wives, then it cannot be based on if she does what we like. It’s not based on whether she keeps her hair done or always dresses nice. It’s not even based on whether she loves us back. We are to love her simply because God commands us to. It’s unconditional. Now in loving her, I hope and pray that she loves you back and keeps herself up, but those things are NOT the criteria when it comes to YOU loving her.

You might be thinking, “what does this “love” look like?” Well, God says we should love our wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Jesus sacrificed everything for us, even to the point of dying on the cross for our sins. Therefore, your love for your wife should be sacrificial. It should cost you something. You have to die to self and place your wife’s needs above and beyond your own. If you want to know if you are truly loving your wife, take a look at what you’re sacrificing for her. There is nothing that she should have to do to earn your love. Her being your wife automatically places her under the commandment you have to love her. Plain and simple.

And we, myself included, fall short of this standard when it comes to loving our wives. But men, let’s stop making excuses such as, “If she didn’t talk so much I’d love her” or “If she would just act right, I would act right…”. NO!! You are the man. You are the head of your house. You set the tone. You are the example. You are to love your wife. And if she is not the woman you want her to be right now, love her and love her well and I promise you God will turn her into the woman you need her to be and the woman you desire. But it all starts with you. Be blessed my brothers.

KINGDOM DEFINITIONS